Why do people like the world to orbit around them?
And does making others look bad make them look good?
Maybe it does.

I don't get what all these nonsensical stuff is going about,
but I do know that it makes me look like the "devil".
And fine, I don't mind being the "devil".
I'm just so used to it isn't it?
Being blamed for everything when it's only one-sided.
It is so fair to do that.

Oh! And I just love my sarcasm.
By the way, I have other friends whom I blog about,
and yea, I have OTHER friends.
And they were so bothered about people caring about them,
when they don't even care how you feel.

I hate my life.
I hate my family.
I hate my friends.
I hate hypocrites.
I hate hypocritical Christians.
I hate eating.
I hate this world.
I hate everything.
No matter how beautiful it may seems.
Everything's a lie.
Everyone's a liar.
This world is broken.

I'll just get used to it.
Every call, every rejection.
I just need to get used to it.
It's the same each time.
No point holding any hope.
I'm just a nobody to everyone.
Probably an extra that can't fit in anywhere.
I'll just get used to it.
To be alone.
To be left out.
To be left behind.
To be uncared of.
To be unwanted.

So what if you like someone..
If that person doesn't like you..
It's no point liking him..

It's just like if a guy likes you,
you don't have to do anything but he'll still love you..
But if he doesn't,
then nothing you do will make him love you..

Why is it the guys who make the choices?
Why is it always so unfair?

Because of all these unrequited love,
all these that I'm sick of..
I just want to be strong enough to say..
"I kissed dating goodbye."

Really emotional these few days.
Why? I do not know.
There's something I realise though.
I'm still afraid to cry in front of people.
Or probably I'm just too used to cry alone in the dark.
I wonder how will my birthday be this year.
I'd be happy if I get enrolled.
But what if I don't?
How will I react?
How will I face the rest of my birthdays?
I'm really scared.
Who can I tell?
Shivering in fears, having to calm myself down.
Why is every song played in my ear sound so depressing?
I feel so alone once again.
Such horrible feelings.
After all, I still have tears to cry.
I want to be strong, why can't I?
Such a failure, a disappointment.

Well, I'm probably not in your list now.
You probably wouldn't know how much I cried in the night.
You probably wouldn't know how much pain I felt alone.
You probably wouldn't care how I am or what I've been through.
I'm probably your past. Something to be forgotten.
You probably wouldn't read this, but if you do,
just know that I did cry over you.

Although it all seems like past to you,
it's not the same for me.
I thought I was strong enough,
that all these are behind me,
but everything just haunts me time and again,
and I just hope that you'll be there to comfort me again,
but I guess it's never the same.

When I'm faced with problems I can't handle,
when it's something my parents can't know,
I have nowhere to go, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.
Even when I feel like crying,
there's no one to find, no one to comfort, no one to care.
It's just me alone, facing the giant world ahead of me.

No matter how strong I may seem,
I'm actually not that strong at all.
I do still cry when memories haunt.

Chinese New Year, a time for reunion.
But not exactly for everyone.
You might wish everyone happy chinese new year,
and they'll wish you the same in return,
but is it really happy at all?

For many have enjoyed reunion in a moment as such,
as for me, I'm not that lucky one.
This year, it's different.
No reunion, more of disappointment.
But it's from this that I learned to be stronger, to be independent,
and to not rely much on others, or rather trust.

I was stupid to be fooled,
but that's going to be the last time.
To be cheated, fooled, deceived.
The start of a new year.

The next time,
I don't want to be the one to be upset.
If it is true, then you'll have to persist through my many obstacles.
I don't want to be the one regretting.
I want you to regret..
For not trying hard enough.
I will not go for it anymore.
I'll just relax and wait.
I'll not give in so easily.
I don't want to be fooled. Again.

Being too nice to humans are highly not beneficial.