Is it a curse for me to have friends?
Even if it's just a wish for a friend,
it doesn't even come true.

Why is reality so harsh?
Happily ever after are just fairy tales.
Fantasy and Reality.

I guess it's impossible for us to talk to each other.
Even the longest friendship I have didn't last.
The bestest friend could just turn herself away.
Each time she sees me,
Each time she rolls her eyes at me.
It hurts.
Friends hurt.
I don't want to be a fool.
My dark side is telling me to hurt others.
'Cause isn't it better hurting others than to get hurt?
It's called self defence.

I hate my negativity.
I'm 80% filled with it.
So mainly I hate myself.
And should I focus all these hate on myself, rather than others?

I'm sinking into my own confusion.
I'm sinking into my own darkness.
I'm sinking into my own depression.

No hands to grab.
No hands to support.
No hands to give me a push.

For now,
I'll just sink a little deeper as time passes.