Pouring...

I just wanna shut myself from this world.
Some people just makes me sick.
AND, I have to smile and make them happy.
MASKED!

It's funny how some people are struggling to survive,
while others are struggling to die, like me.
I know I should reflect but I just don't feel like.
Who cares anyway?
My mind is just so screwed now by.. lots of stuff.
I'm sitting here typing with a brain not working.
Yet, I have a whole pile of shit to be done by tomorrow.
Indeed I need lots of prayer.
And I've been having none since I don't know when.
HAH! Trying to act smart by leaving God outta my life?
I want to live like any other Christians.
Why can't I?
I hate myself.
So much expectations yet I've met none.
That is one reason why I don't wish to live.

Guess what?
I've finally found someone to talk to.
Yes. Finally.
BUT, I guess it can't last long either.
Though we spoke everyday online or through sms,
we seem to have lesser stuff to talk about.
The convo's getting shorter.
What can I say...
That's life...